Forgiveness is hard, but necessary for healing

I am writing this late Monday night.
I woke up tired; really tired and knew today was going to be one of those drag your feet kind of days.
I even told my preschoolers during our morning circle time "Kiddos, Ms. Kathy is tired today!"

After preschool class ended, I stressed once more to my own four year old that momma was tired, and once we got home from the grocery store, I planned to plop down on the couch next to her and rest.

I suppose it IS too much to ask for a mother of four to rest in the middle of the afternoon.   Not long after I enjoyed a skype session with a dear friend, did I get a phone call from my son's middle school principal.  She was calling to let me know that my son had a very bad bloody nose from tripping and falling down.  She stated that it looked as if it needed E.R. attention.  Michael gets nose bleeds easily, and even though she was in a panic due to so much blood, I assumed once we washed it away and pinched it, all would be just fine.

So, I pulled my tired self off the couch and put Jessica in the car seat and drove to the school.  When I got there, I walked in on the football coach, the Principal and the vice-Principal all tending to MIchael's bloody nose.  Michael then came forth with the real story.  He had been punched in the face by another student.  Apparently, the boy threathed the other students near him that he was very annoyed and he wanted to punch somebody.   Unfortunately, no adults were present and the other boys did not take him seriously, so unfortunately, my son became his victim.

We are finally home after spending 4 1/2 hours in the E.R.  Michael has a broken nose.

I am finishing my vlog early the next morning (Tuesday) after very little sleep.  I am very sad for two reasons.  One, of course, that my son is hurt, but I am just as sad for the other boy.  My heart breaks to know of a 13 year old boy dealing with enough anger in his life to want to punch an innocent stand by.

This morning as I write this I am praying for several people:
Dear God,
I pray that Michael will heal quicky and not need surgery.
I pray for the other boy (to remain nameless in my blog), that he heal from what ever is causing him to have anger.  I pray for his parents, that they are a blessing in his life and seeking your guidance.
I pray for my husand, that he can learn the same forgiveness that Michael and I have learned.  He now has anger for the other boy and is judging his situation and his parents without even knowing them.   Lord, I realize only you know what they must be dealing with, and I am trying to help my husband understand that we must trust you to help them, and also lean on you to help us forgive.
I pray for all others that continue to hate and judge, that they trust you and accept Christ into their lives, for YOU are light, peace, and joy in every situation.  Thank you Father.

Face to face

I realized something new about myself tonight.  I think I might actually be shy!
Ok, for those who really know me on a personal level or even on a first and last name basis for that matter, probably think I might be smoking something right now, but seriously....I think it it true!

I open up quite easily through facebook and email etc, but when it comes time to meet face to face, I clam up!  I have nothing to contribute to the conversation.  My attention span is so bad, when I am face to face with someone.  I can't focus at all!  I think I long to have a deep conversation with someone face to face, and when I finally get the opportunity it is not the same.

I don't want that to happen when I meet God.   He and I talk so personally, but what if when I finally meet Him, I clam up?  Not only that, I am just now getting to know James, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Paul, and Timothy, and I have so many others I want to know better...before I actually meet them too.  What if when I see them face to face, I have nothing to say?

Just wonderin....Just sayin...

Chili when it's chilly

Today was our first chilly day of the season and it also rained all day too, so of course, I craved Chili.

I think Autumn is my favorite season!  Well, on second thought, I think the beginning of every season is my favorite season.  HA!  Yeah, that's it; I embrace change; change is a good thing!  It means a fresh start, and who doesn't like a fresh start?

As I sit and ponder about my fresh start, I find myself smiling and taking a deep breath in and a slow breath out!  What a promising future ahead!!!

Tonight, I wish everyone reading this, a wonderful fresh new start as you embrace the change in season!  May God bless you all!  Now, I am going to go enjoy that chili simmerin on the stove....
Mmmmmm

Oblivious

Did I mention I am reading "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore.  It is an in-depth Bible study made into a reader-friendly version.  I am becoming a bit obsessed with Beth Moore these days, so when I saw the book on the shelf in my church lobby, I had to purchase it!

In the chapter I read today, I was given an assignment to think back on a time in my life that brought hardship.  I couldn't think of any!    I kept shrugging my shoulders thinking I guess I am just a lucky one.  Then, that answer wasn't good enough, so I dug deeper for a reason.  I prayed.

And then it came to me!

It is because I am selfish!  I make myself oblivious to everything bad around me. 

I don't watch the news, I don't read the paper, I completely guard myself from any personal relationships outside of my own family.   I can't comprehend hardships and I don't want to!

There, I admit it!  I avoid the world, because I fear hardship!

God help me be more aware of others struggles; help me so I can help them.  But, please do not make it so that I have to experience these hardships in order to understand them.  

Dear God

Hi God,

Thought I would spend sometime telling you about my day thus far:

Yes, I realize you already know what has been happening, and you know exactly what is going to happen next, but I also know you love to hear from me regardless.  Perhaps, even if it is to give me some form of insight to what my day SHOULD be about.  

First and foremost, I am very grateful to you for waking me up this morning!  

After getting the boys off to school, Jessica and I spent our extra minutes before preschool coloring pictures.  Aha, There ya go!  You just provided me some insight!  I should cherish those precious moments, because sooner than later I will miss having time coloring with my little princess!

After class ended, I dropped Jessica off at the babysitters and went to my bible study.  Of course, you know I am participating in my second Beth Moore study.  This one, A woman's heart, God's Dwelling Place, is much different that James, Mercy Triumphs, but I am still grateful for the life-changing experiences each study has brought me.  Thank you for Beth Moore and her spit-fire energy!  She is delightful!  I had chills as she finished describing how the 12 tribes and their camps surrounded the tabernacle in the form of a cross.  It is amazing the things I am learning as I study Your Word!

Oh!  And, thank you for helping me with my talk with Johnny today.  Even though I had to be firm,  he was very receptive!  I can tell you are doing a great work in him!  Thank you for being so present in his life these days!

Michael got home early from football practice, and asked to go to the High School volleyball game.  Chris was invited to play tennis with a friend tonight, and Jessica has bible class, so I am off the hook for cooking a family meal.  Of course, Matt will be walking in the door anytime from soccer practice, and I am certain he will be hungry as a bear.  HA!  I guess you knew that already, he just came in and asked for my money to go to eat with a friend!  

WOW! My ipad just notified me to skype with a friend!   I know you sent her to me; so thanks for that too!   And, thanks for giving me the free time *wink*

I LOVE YOU!!

Kathy  

Looking out for others

Today, I am reminded of a story, and would like to share it:

There once was a mouse who looked through the crack in
the wall to see the farmer and his wife opening a package.
"What food might this contain?" thought the mouse. He was
devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the
warning. "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a
mousetrap in the house!"

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and
said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to
you, but it is of no consequence to me, I cannot be
bothered by it."

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a
mousetrap in the House!"

The pig sympathized but said, "I am so very sorry Mr.
Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray.
Be assured that you are in my prayers."

The mouse turned to the cow. She said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse,
I'm sorry for you. But it's no skin off my nose."

So the mouse returned to the house, head down and
dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house
like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.

The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the
darkness she did not see that it was a venomous snake
whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the
farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital and
she returned home with a fever.

Now everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken
soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for
the soup's main ingredient.

But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and
neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed
them, the farmer butchered the pig.

The farmer's wife did not get well. She died; and so many
people came for her funeral the farmer had the cow
slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.

So next time you hear that someone is facing a problem
and think that it doesn't concern you, remember that when
one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.

I leave you with a scripture that goes right along with this little story:
Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. (Philippians 2:4 NLT)

Vulnerability

I allowed myself to be very vulnerable today.  I have done so in the past, but not under God's instruction.  Today was different.  I had nothing to prove; therefore I was not humiliated.  Instead, I was blessed tremendously!  

I have learned, if you know who you are in Christ, your personal ego is not an issue.  This was such a great lesson for me.  When I gave my testimony to live for Jesus, I meant it; and I am truly being blessed in more ways than I can count!

I have a purpose!

My son came home today feeling inadequate.  I asked the Holy Spirit to guide me to say the right thing to comfort him.  I will spare the details for his own privacy.  Nonetheless, I was able to help him find his own purpose.  After we talked, we prayed together and then I gave him this scripture:

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, (Colossians 3:23 NIV)  Now, he has a purpose!  

I too have experienced the feeling of being inadequate.  It is not healthy.  Satan dwells on our vulnerability and our insecurities, but as Christians we must remember to remain confident in Christ to humble ourselves.  If we are not able to go outside of our comfort zone, we will never know the one thing that is pleasing to Christ.   Trust in HIM, and listen closely, he will not let you perish.  God's way is the safe way; the right way!