"I'm finding myself at a loss for words

And the funny thing is it's okay

The last thing I need is to be heard

But to hear what You would say

Word of God speak

Would You pour down like rain

Washing my eyes to see

Your majesty

To be still and know

That You're in this place

Please let me stay and rest

In Your holiness 

Word of God speak"

Above are beautiful lyrics from the group "Mercy Me".  I really have no words for my blog this week, so I decided to share the lyrics instead.  I hope they touched you as much as they did me.  

Raising a little girl

Dear God, 

I don't want to raise my child to always want earthly treasures.  I want her to long to know Jesus and know how to live as he did!  I want her to store her treasures in heaven, not here on earth!  

My daughter will be heading off to kindergarten soon and attending a public school.  I want to shelter her from many of the things I already see most girls her age doing.  What is typical for a four year old girl to expereince at such a young age?  

Well, around here...most are attending pop concerts, riding in limousines, getting professional pedicures, wearing hair extensions, going to the movies, own multiple American Girl dolls (this is one I am trying to avoid), and fighting over boys already!  What will they have to look forward to as teenagers?  

What happened to innocense?  I want my little girl to wake up thanking Jesus for side walk chalk, trees to climb, parks, crayons, finger paint, having pretend tea parties with her stuffed animals, and Sesame Street! 

  

Forgive me Lord, for presenting anything unGodly to my child.  Father, Your Word says "seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matthew 6:33  Help me, help her seek You first!

Father, today I seek discernment and wisdom for raising my little girl.

I want to raise her as Your Word instructs.  Help me understand when temptations arise to give her things that are not necessary.  Help me not spoil my little girl.   It is in Your son Jesus name I pray, and thank you for giving Him to me, and thank you for giving me Jessica to raise according to Your will!

2 Timothy 3: 14-17 

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.

The Open Door

Tonight, I am trying to catch up on my bible study homework.   I am on Day 3, when I should be finished with Day 5.  Oops!  Now, since I have been inspired to blog...I will be up even later trying to finish my homework before class tomorrow, but I must share what I just read.

This is a piece from Beth Moore's Session 6 Week 7, Day 3 of A Woman's Heart, God's Dwelling Place:

"A difficult sequence begins to unfold the moment we do not resist the first temptation.  Let's put ourselves in an example of an extramarital affair to determine the point at which we can fail to appropriate God's provision for our escape.  

Satan started weaving the web the first moment you realized that you and this man enjoyed each other's company. You experienced a spark that made it appealing; yet you had the distinct feeling that you had better run.

The alarms was loud.  An open door stood before you.  But you hestitated.  Then you refused it, offering your thoughts permission to proceed.  Little by little the relationship progressed.  Harmless, you reasoned.  (It must not be a big deal.  I no longer have the feeling that I need to run away.)  The alarm grew increasingly faint.  Satan had done everything he could to weave a web you could not escape;  but no matter how he tried, he could not slam that door.  It remained open.  Each time you refused to go through it, however, your strength to resist drained.  

This cycle of temptation, hesitation, and participation is as old as the garden of Eden, and it is not limited to sexual temptation.  Two things about a believer's temptation never vary: (1) We always have an open door, a way out.  (2) Every door we refuse to walk through makes the next one even harder to enter.  

If a person is inhabited by the Holy Spirit, an alarm sounds.  How can I say those words so dogmatically?  Because the Holy Spirit's job is to convict us of sin, and He is never late for work.  Remember, being tempted is not sin; refusing to take the way out is sin.  Either way, it is a matter of resistance.  We resist either the sin or the Holy Spirit.  

The obvious key to victory is walking through the first door of escape.  Every time we refuse another door, we lose more sensitivity to the Holy Spirit.  He never goes away, but the less sensitivity we have to Him, the less power we have until, finally, we find ourselves fighting the battle on our own, absolutely powerless against temptation.  In the flesh we always do what comes naturally, and what comes most naturally to every one of us is sin.  

Can you cite a time when you narrowly escaped a sin that could have ruined your life?  The important part is to acknowledge the One who opened before you a way of escape."

I for one, do not intend to take this passage I read lightly.  The Holy Spirit is always providing an open door for us to escape sin.  I am trying to devote some time every day with the Holy Spirit, so that I can be made more aware of any temptations that arise in my life.

Father, Thank You for giving us Your Son.  Because Christ has faced our every temptation without sin, we never face a temptation that has no door of escape.  "I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut" (Rev. 3:8)  Neither Satan nor anyone else can make us fall to temptation.  The door always remains open for our escape.  Thank You Jesus!  AMEN!!

The Power of Prayer

I was tapped on the shoulder today in the lobby at church.  I turned to see who it was....it was Johnny!

My 18 year old son has been living with my brother and his family in the city.  He is attending a community college near their home.  I will be forever grateful to my brother and sister in law for taking Johnny under their wing.   Johnny had been walking a path of destruction and we were forced to kick him out of the house this summer.  

It all started two years ago when he became friends with a group of marajuana smokers.  Then, he joined a gym and started taking testosterone boosters too.    After many months of disrespect and illegal fines piling up, my husband and I were forced to kick him out of our home.  Thankfully, my brother agreed to watch out for him and allow Johnny to stay with them for awhile.  

Johnny had planned to enlist in the military, but had to first take care of his legal issues.  When I was pregnant with Johnny, God made me aware that I was carrying one of HIS soldiers.  I didn't know exactly what HIS plans were for my son, but I sensed I needed to pray often and seek God's guidance to parent him to become a leader, someone that could grow to lead others to know God.  I did not think for once that Johnny would actually be a military soldier.  

As it seems...neither did God.   Johnny started working for my nephew and attending church with my brother and his family.  Not only was Johnny being taught tough love, he was finally being influenced by Christ followers.  He is hearing and living God's Word every day!  He enrolled in a community college where he is receiving an academic scholarship, he is making enough money to pay for his car, and has finally paid off all of his legal debts.  

I continue to pray about God's will for all of my children.  I pray that God will continue to guide me and help me to understand my role in HIS plans for my children.  

During the months that Johnny was disrespectful and very lost in his walk with God, I continued to lift him up and ask God to protect him and follow him and give him wisdom and discernment.  I prayed that God would put Godly role models in Johnny's life and to take anyone or anything evil out of his life.  I could do nothing but pray!   I had to put all of my trust in God and believe HIS plan for my child.  

Prayer is working!

Johnny decided to surprise me today at church and has spent the entire day with his family.  He is staying with us tonight, since he does not have class tomorrow.  He is going to his brother's soccer game and spending time with his little sister tomorrow.   He is becoming a great role-model for his younger brothers too.  My 16 year old was in the kitchen listening to a vulgar rap song and Johnny spoke up and told him he really should stop listening to that garbage, and suggested some really cool Christian rap songs instead.  He gave my 13 year old a challenge to memorize a Scripture verse and he accepted that challenge!  He brought his bible and went to visit a friend who does not know God to witness to him this evening!   

He also decided to give up his iphone.  He has been paying for his own data plan and today decided to go back to just a simple cell phone.  He told me that he wanted to spend his time more wisely and not waste it.  

Johnny told me this afternoon that he was very sorry for the way he had acted.  He told me he understands now how detrimental his actions were and that he only wants to live for Jesus!   I can't express the joy I have today!

Today, I am very proud and thanking GOD for saving my Son, and I will continue to cover him with my prayers.   I will never stop praying for my children.  

My most precious gift, my husband.

He did state that if I do blog, that I make sure I leave him out of it...but I insisted that it would be near impossible since My story involves him too.  (I think he will forgive me for this one, besides he doesn't read my blog anyway, so what he doesn't know, won't hurt him, sshhh)

I have not had any inspriation to blog this week.  It is not that I have not wanted to, but I just promised myself that I would wait for the right moment.  I try to let the Holy Spirit guide me when I need to blog.  It really does make it so much easier!

I am sad to report that I did not make it to church this past weekend, so I am viewing the service online tonight.  Wouldn't you know it, that in the middle of the video I was inspired to blog about the love of my life!

I do intend to finish the video, but I had to pop on and type out my thoughts!

My husband is such a gift from God to me!  I have said this more than once, in fact, I have a journal to prove it!  Now, I admit, that I have had some pretty serious trials with this man, in fact, we have almost been divorced twice.  But, God really did gift Chris to me!  I know that divorce will NEVER be a word mentioned or a thought provoked EVER again!  Especially, since after 20 years we are finally following Christ together!  I have prayed for this relationship and my prayers have been answered!

Chris is truly an amazing man!  He is not a quitter!  I have given him so many reason to give up on our marriage, and I have called him "idiot" more times than I can count, but one thing I know is he has never stopped loving me and for that I am truly grateful!  God gifted this man to me, and I
intend to cherish HIS gift for the rest of my life!

Chris and I have been married for 20 years.  I can for the first time in my marriage think back on the trials we have encountered without fear that they will return.  I can say with  confidence now, that Chris and I are soul mates!  I don't care to share the details of my marriage troubles because I want the Healer glorified, not the hurt.  It is more important that you know, I am more in love with him now that I ever have been and I have no doubt that he is more in love with me than he ever has been!

Chris and I had never followed Christ as a couple.  I have prayed for Chris to know Christ as I know HIM, but I really was not completely convinced my prayers were ever going to be answered.

God allowed a lot of bad things to happen with my marriage to Chris, but he did not authorize them!  My marriage is strong because I covered it with prayer.    HE protected my marriage and HE made it stronger than ever!

Thank you Father for gifting me Chris!

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." (Matthew 19:6 NIV)

Blessings in disquise

What are your blessings in disquise?  What trials have shaped your story?  I read these two questions side by side today, and I sit here pondering....

I have frequent blessings in disquise, in fact daily!   I have most recently discovered how to unfold them as they occur.   The more time I spend studying the bible, the less anguish I experience.

It is so important to me that I not quit this marathon I have started.   It is a good fear to have....to fear the Lord.  That is the biggest blessing in disquise!  God's Word!  He gave us the Bible, and we should NEVER take it for granted.  Have You spent time yet today with Him?

I leave you with a scripture I pondered on this morning:

Ephesians 4:20-32

New International Version (NIV)

²⁰ That, however, is not the way of life you learned ²¹ when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. ²² You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self,which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ²³ to be made new in the attitude of your minds; ²⁴ and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
²⁵ Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. ²⁶ “In your anger do not sin”^[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, ²⁷ and do not give the devil a foothold. ²⁸ Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.
²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others upaccording to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Thank you for the music

Oh what joy!!!  I spent some time with my precious four year old  singing and dancing as we watched Mamma Mia together!  Today, I am thankful for the music....actually everyday, I thank you for the music!

I'm nothing special, in fact I'm a bit of a bore

If I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before

But I have a talent, a wonderful thing

'Cause everyone listens when I start to sing

I'm so grateful and proud

All I want is to sing it out loud

So I say

Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing

Thanks for all the joy they're bringing

Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty

What would life be?

Without a song or a dance what are we?

So I say thank you for the music

For giving it to me

Mother says I was a dancer before I could walk

(hm hm)She says I began 

to sing long before I could talk

And I've often wondered, how did it all start

Who found out that nothing can capture a heart

Like a melody can

Well, whoever it was, I'm a fan

So I say

Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing

Thanks for all the joy they're bringing

Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty

What would life be?

Without a song or a dance what are we?

So I say thank you for the music

For giving it to me

I've been so lucky, I am the girl with golden hair

I wanna sing it out to everybody

What a joy, what a life, what a chance!

Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing

Thanks for all the joy they're bringing

Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty

What would life be?

Without a song or a dance what are we?

So I say thank you for the music

For giving it to me

So I Say

Thank you for the music

For giving it to me...

Are you listening?

I often find construction critism really painful.  Usually because deep down, I really know it to be truth!
Why is it that truth hurts?  Well, usually because we are far from God on the subject.

You know, it really is true!  When a human being, (especially a loved one) tells us something we really need to hear, we tend to avoid them and the subject all together.  But, we finally come to the realization that it is true, when it becomes unbearable to face, that we finally find ourselves begging for God's help!  And then, HE tells us the same thing that all our love ones have told us already once or twice, we finally hear it!  We really need to start listening better, dont we?

God uses humans in our lives.  Let them work for Him before it is too late!
He is shining on someone in your life right now, and you are doing everything possible to avoid them. Don't wait until it is too late!  Wake up!  You won't regret it!

Forgiveness is hard, but necessary for healing

I am writing this late Monday night.
I woke up tired; really tired and knew today was going to be one of those drag your feet kind of days.
I even told my preschoolers during our morning circle time "Kiddos, Ms. Kathy is tired today!"

After preschool class ended, I stressed once more to my own four year old that momma was tired, and once we got home from the grocery store, I planned to plop down on the couch next to her and rest.

I suppose it IS too much to ask for a mother of four to rest in the middle of the afternoon.   Not long after I enjoyed a skype session with a dear friend, did I get a phone call from my son's middle school principal.  She was calling to let me know that my son had a very bad bloody nose from tripping and falling down.  She stated that it looked as if it needed E.R. attention.  Michael gets nose bleeds easily, and even though she was in a panic due to so much blood, I assumed once we washed it away and pinched it, all would be just fine.

So, I pulled my tired self off the couch and put Jessica in the car seat and drove to the school.  When I got there, I walked in on the football coach, the Principal and the vice-Principal all tending to MIchael's bloody nose.  Michael then came forth with the real story.  He had been punched in the face by another student.  Apparently, the boy threathed the other students near him that he was very annoyed and he wanted to punch somebody.   Unfortunately, no adults were present and the other boys did not take him seriously, so unfortunately, my son became his victim.

We are finally home after spending 4 1/2 hours in the E.R.  Michael has a broken nose.

I am finishing my vlog early the next morning (Tuesday) after very little sleep.  I am very sad for two reasons.  One, of course, that my son is hurt, but I am just as sad for the other boy.  My heart breaks to know of a 13 year old boy dealing with enough anger in his life to want to punch an innocent stand by.

This morning as I write this I am praying for several people:
Dear God,
I pray that Michael will heal quicky and not need surgery.
I pray for the other boy (to remain nameless in my blog), that he heal from what ever is causing him to have anger.  I pray for his parents, that they are a blessing in his life and seeking your guidance.
I pray for my husand, that he can learn the same forgiveness that Michael and I have learned.  He now has anger for the other boy and is judging his situation and his parents without even knowing them.   Lord, I realize only you know what they must be dealing with, and I am trying to help my husband understand that we must trust you to help them, and also lean on you to help us forgive.
I pray for all others that continue to hate and judge, that they trust you and accept Christ into their lives, for YOU are light, peace, and joy in every situation.  Thank you Father.

Face to face

I realized something new about myself tonight.  I think I might actually be shy!
Ok, for those who really know me on a personal level or even on a first and last name basis for that matter, probably think I might be smoking something right now, but seriously....I think it it true!

I open up quite easily through facebook and email etc, but when it comes time to meet face to face, I clam up!  I have nothing to contribute to the conversation.  My attention span is so bad, when I am face to face with someone.  I can't focus at all!  I think I long to have a deep conversation with someone face to face, and when I finally get the opportunity it is not the same.

I don't want that to happen when I meet God.   He and I talk so personally, but what if when I finally meet Him, I clam up?  Not only that, I am just now getting to know James, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Paul, and Timothy, and I have so many others I want to know better...before I actually meet them too.  What if when I see them face to face, I have nothing to say?

Just wonderin....Just sayin...

Chili when it's chilly

Today was our first chilly day of the season and it also rained all day too, so of course, I craved Chili.

I think Autumn is my favorite season!  Well, on second thought, I think the beginning of every season is my favorite season.  HA!  Yeah, that's it; I embrace change; change is a good thing!  It means a fresh start, and who doesn't like a fresh start?

As I sit and ponder about my fresh start, I find myself smiling and taking a deep breath in and a slow breath out!  What a promising future ahead!!!

Tonight, I wish everyone reading this, a wonderful fresh new start as you embrace the change in season!  May God bless you all!  Now, I am going to go enjoy that chili simmerin on the stove....
Mmmmmm

Oblivious

Did I mention I am reading "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore.  It is an in-depth Bible study made into a reader-friendly version.  I am becoming a bit obsessed with Beth Moore these days, so when I saw the book on the shelf in my church lobby, I had to purchase it!

In the chapter I read today, I was given an assignment to think back on a time in my life that brought hardship.  I couldn't think of any!    I kept shrugging my shoulders thinking I guess I am just a lucky one.  Then, that answer wasn't good enough, so I dug deeper for a reason.  I prayed.

And then it came to me!

It is because I am selfish!  I make myself oblivious to everything bad around me. 

I don't watch the news, I don't read the paper, I completely guard myself from any personal relationships outside of my own family.   I can't comprehend hardships and I don't want to!

There, I admit it!  I avoid the world, because I fear hardship!

God help me be more aware of others struggles; help me so I can help them.  But, please do not make it so that I have to experience these hardships in order to understand them.  

Dear God

Hi God,

Thought I would spend sometime telling you about my day thus far:

Yes, I realize you already know what has been happening, and you know exactly what is going to happen next, but I also know you love to hear from me regardless.  Perhaps, even if it is to give me some form of insight to what my day SHOULD be about.  

First and foremost, I am very grateful to you for waking me up this morning!  

After getting the boys off to school, Jessica and I spent our extra minutes before preschool coloring pictures.  Aha, There ya go!  You just provided me some insight!  I should cherish those precious moments, because sooner than later I will miss having time coloring with my little princess!

After class ended, I dropped Jessica off at the babysitters and went to my bible study.  Of course, you know I am participating in my second Beth Moore study.  This one, A woman's heart, God's Dwelling Place, is much different that James, Mercy Triumphs, but I am still grateful for the life-changing experiences each study has brought me.  Thank you for Beth Moore and her spit-fire energy!  She is delightful!  I had chills as she finished describing how the 12 tribes and their camps surrounded the tabernacle in the form of a cross.  It is amazing the things I am learning as I study Your Word!

Oh!  And, thank you for helping me with my talk with Johnny today.  Even though I had to be firm,  he was very receptive!  I can tell you are doing a great work in him!  Thank you for being so present in his life these days!

Michael got home early from football practice, and asked to go to the High School volleyball game.  Chris was invited to play tennis with a friend tonight, and Jessica has bible class, so I am off the hook for cooking a family meal.  Of course, Matt will be walking in the door anytime from soccer practice, and I am certain he will be hungry as a bear.  HA!  I guess you knew that already, he just came in and asked for my money to go to eat with a friend!  

WOW! My ipad just notified me to skype with a friend!   I know you sent her to me; so thanks for that too!   And, thanks for giving me the free time *wink*

I LOVE YOU!!

Kathy  

Looking out for others

Today, I am reminded of a story, and would like to share it:

There once was a mouse who looked through the crack in
the wall to see the farmer and his wife opening a package.
"What food might this contain?" thought the mouse. He was
devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the
warning. "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a
mousetrap in the house!"

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and
said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to
you, but it is of no consequence to me, I cannot be
bothered by it."

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a
mousetrap in the House!"

The pig sympathized but said, "I am so very sorry Mr.
Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray.
Be assured that you are in my prayers."

The mouse turned to the cow. She said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse,
I'm sorry for you. But it's no skin off my nose."

So the mouse returned to the house, head down and
dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house
like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.

The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the
darkness she did not see that it was a venomous snake
whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the
farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital and
she returned home with a fever.

Now everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken
soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for
the soup's main ingredient.

But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and
neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed
them, the farmer butchered the pig.

The farmer's wife did not get well. She died; and so many
people came for her funeral the farmer had the cow
slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.

So next time you hear that someone is facing a problem
and think that it doesn't concern you, remember that when
one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.

I leave you with a scripture that goes right along with this little story:
Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. (Philippians 2:4 NLT)

Vulnerability

I allowed myself to be very vulnerable today.  I have done so in the past, but not under God's instruction.  Today was different.  I had nothing to prove; therefore I was not humiliated.  Instead, I was blessed tremendously!  

I have learned, if you know who you are in Christ, your personal ego is not an issue.  This was such a great lesson for me.  When I gave my testimony to live for Jesus, I meant it; and I am truly being blessed in more ways than I can count!

I have a purpose!

My son came home today feeling inadequate.  I asked the Holy Spirit to guide me to say the right thing to comfort him.  I will spare the details for his own privacy.  Nonetheless, I was able to help him find his own purpose.  After we talked, we prayed together and then I gave him this scripture:

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, (Colossians 3:23 NIV)  Now, he has a purpose!  

I too have experienced the feeling of being inadequate.  It is not healthy.  Satan dwells on our vulnerability and our insecurities, but as Christians we must remember to remain confident in Christ to humble ourselves.  If we are not able to go outside of our comfort zone, we will never know the one thing that is pleasing to Christ.   Trust in HIM, and listen closely, he will not let you perish.  God's way is the safe way; the right way!